So Dem Tull

So∙Dem∙Tull gut a hilli. Hi sitten orn his ‘randa watchen the world go by. His maet Bondai o’er ya f’ a wiik en dem tu bin gossup en debargen hoel dai.

“Waal dar shep se fin’ly unload. Miword tek lorng taim.”

“Ent dem meins fawlt. Dem worken hard but dem barges kaa du. Wuthen bin yusa tek short letl now teken lornga. I watchen dem doun Kingston da tada dai en simis a theng, gut mor setten roun than wen humme bin yusa work dar shep.”

“Trew dat! I sii orl dem poor salan, starnen roun waiten f’ dem barj f’ load. Trewly, es mii, I meana stay hoem en nor work ar shep.”

“Ahh, but dars wuthen dem wunt. Ef nobohdi gwen work ar shep, dem el du wuthen dem laik. Dar shep d’ ooni theng dem kaa du wethowt aklan. En yu no darn waal dem doen dems darndest f’ chaenj dar.”

“Es trew. Yu no wuthen I ya dar tada dai? Gwen bi no ekspress post ya suun. So wii nor gwen gut a parsel es urjent. Wii el ooni haw a parsel tek ets taim ulla pay f’ ayr frait, kos wii kaa depend orn ‘ sheppen, unay.”

“Waa?  I kaa beleew et. Wii orlreddi gut plenti mail nort se get ya.”

“Waal dem gael at dar post ofys tulla mi dem gwen fite f’ aklan’s rait f’ get ‘ mail en a munth nort a yair. Mebbe orl aklan shud bi raiten lornga dem salan tu show wii nor hapi en wunt dem f’ kiip ekspress ya.”

“Dars wun guud idea. But, hang et, I se sik ‘ rait a letta.”

“Es trew, but ef wi nor rait, dem nort no wi se gurret.”

“Yu ya bout dem contayna o’ fuud ne’er mek it ya?”

“Yeh, en I kaa sii wy dem nor ayr frait et ya ef es dems mistake, kos yu fine dem fuud se had et ‘for get ya. I nor thort es Foodies shud pay furret.”

“Unay. Es kriminal, espeshaly wen wii en a fuud krisis.”

“Hah! Wii no how f’ mek du, so orl aklan nor gwen morga!”

“Thenken o’ morga, dem tatii cum orn dar shep. Yu gut eni?”

“I bin buy 6 sak. Miword but I bin wait muusa 6 munth f’ get it!”

“I bin ya dem bein held at biosecurity.”

“Yu mean dem nort se giw dem owt yet?”

“Waal dem nor wunt f’ du et ‘for dar shep se dun.”

“Waaa? But dar shep se dun orn Tyusdai!”

“Aah waal, yu no dees theng tek a taim..”

“Must bi dem nor planten a tatii, ulla dem el jes go by wuthen dem wunt en breng et ya, unay?”

“Trew dat! Es funni how dem nor wunt f’ relees dem tatii, but es orlrait f’ orfload orl dem wood gut a bug en, as lorng as yu gut sum Morteen!”

“Waaa? Wuthen yu torken bout? Shorlii yu stollyen?!”

“Ess true ess da bible…so dem tull!”