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Annual Check Up

Thursday, May 28, 2020

A woman goes to her doctor for her annual check up. 

 The nurse starts with certain basic items. 

 ' How much do you weigh?' she asks. 'Eight and a half stone,' the woman says. 

The nurse puts her on the scales and tells  her weight is actually ten stone. The nurse asks, 'Your height?' '5 foot 8 !!!', she says. 

The nurse checks and says that she only measures 5' 2'. 

 She then takes her blood pressure and tells the woman that it is very high.  

'Of course it's HIGH !!!' the woman screams, 'When I came in here I was tall and slender.... Now I'm short and fat !!!'

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Fun after Retirement

Thursday, May 21, 2020

Working people frequently ask retired people what they do to make their days interesting. Well for example, the other day, Bev my wife and I went into town and visited a shop.  When we came out, there was a cop writing out a parking ticket.

We went up to him and I said, 'Come on, man, how about giving a senior citizen a break?' He ignored us and continued writing the ticket. I called him an pimple faced power tripping arsehole . He glared at me and started writing another ticket for having worn-out tires.

So Bev called him a small minded little shit head. He finished the second ticket and put it on the windshield with the first. Then he started writing more tickets. This went on for about 20 minutes. The more we abused him, the more tickets he wrote.

Just then our bus arrived, and we got on it and went home.  We try to have a little fun each day now that we're retired. It's important at our age.

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